Howard Self picked me up at the airport and drove me to the New Yorker Hotel, where I joined CARP Headquarters. My new mission was ostensibly to be a writer for the World University Times.
There were about a thousand Church members living in the New Yorker, which was quite elegant when first built in the late twenties. The Hotel was being renovated, room-by-room, and floor-by-floor. Howard gave me a quick tour of the CARP offices on the fifth and sixth floor. Dr. Seuk’s office was on the sixth floor, across from CARP's bookkeeping offices; Howard Self had his office on the fifth floor, opposite the publication offices. I put my luggage in room 2047, which I shared with Gerard, a Seminary graduate who was writing a book on Unification Thought. Gerard was on his way to lead CARP in the Philippines. Yoshiko was also living in the New Yorker; I bought some roses and put them beside her door.
The following day, after morning service, I found Yoshiko and had breakfast with her at the Sona Bana. We had a pleasant time together; she gave me a blank journal and a gift for my mother. Yoshiko said she was sorry for not writing more often, explaining that she worked late hours in the Japanese bookkeeping office for Happy Group. "Bookkeeping has a good future," she said. I confided that I did the books on an MFT team for one month and secretly hated it.
In the afternoon I went with the CARP Headquarters staff and Dr. Suek to do some Christmas shopping. About twenty of us were standing in the Men's clothing section of Macy's as Dr. Suek handed each of us a crisp one hundred dollar bill. A few shoppers happened to notice; I wondered if they were thinking of lining up to get something from this Korean Santa Clause.
Yoshiko dropped by the CARP office in the evening, to go out for dinner; I just happened to have my large manila envelope with the x-rays in them. I showed her the film on the way to the Sona Bona. "My dad had a back injury while working at Goodyear. His spine was stretched and he couldn't lift a pound of butter for a year," I said.
I left her at the end of the evening, and told her my mother said, "Give Yoshiko a big hug for me," she didn't understand at first. When she did, she disappeared in an elevator.
Sunday I was standing in the Hotel Lobby with Jerome, an MFT buddy when Yoshiko walked by on her way to a meeting. Jerome said in passing, "You're so pretty."
My wife blushed. I tried to make plans to see her later. "It's OK," she said, meaning "No."
On a Wednesday evening Yoshiko dropped in the CARP office and said, "I can go to the movies now, to see 2010." I was sitting at a typewriter writing my letter to Father at the time; He had made a request for members to write him a letter while he is in prison. (All the letters were submitted to Dr. Seuk first so that he could check the contents before sending them on.) "I'll be right back, after I change," she said. She came back wearing blue jeans, a smart sweater, and a purple coat. She had on some make-up too. We stopped at Lindeys' for coffee before the movie.
Yoshiko told me it's all right for her to live in the New Yorker, but for me it might be difficult because it entails taking the initiative for your own spiritual life. I told her that I would try to make my stay productive. Many leaders were concerned about members staying at the New Yorker, because it was too easy to back slide.
I asked Yoshiko about her spiritual age, she said it was about 14 years, being that she joined the church while she was in High School. As we took the long escalator down to the theater, I showed her a black and white 5 x 7 photograph of my father that my mother had just sent me. "He was very handsome, what happened to you?" Yoshiko said, adding, "I'm just kidding."
2010 was a difficult movie for a Japanese person to understand, especially one who doesn't like Science Fiction. I tried my best to explain. On the way back, passing 42nd street, she said that she liked all the bright lights. She just saw the light, not the tawdry things they advertised.
Christmas evening I went to the Kaori Hanna Restaurant with Yoshiko's department, for the Happy Group holiday bash. Most of the evening was spent singing with a Karaoke in Japanese. With only a handful of Westerners present, and with the main dish being sushi it hardly seemed like Christmas. Yoshiko spent the whole evening acting as a host, and had little time to spend with me. Finally she came to my table and said, "You are probably not enjoying yourself because it's all Japanese. It's OK if you go home, because we are about to have a meeting." I took the hint and left. I went to the Columbia CARP Center to catch the Christmas party, and watched the end of Our Man Godfrey.
On the evening of the 27th, Yoshiko stopped by the CARP office so that we could call my mother. I showed Yoshiko an article in the CARP newsletter about the Convention in Korea, which was the first article written in my new capacity. She looked at the picture of me playing guitar at the Little Angel Performing Arts Center. As she left to go back to work, I gave her another picture of my father, the last one taken while he was alive.
God's Day, January the first, Father was on furlough to come to New York and preside over the ceremonies. I happened to notice Yoshiko at the back of the Grand Ballroom wearing the pink dress that I had picked up for her in Korea. By the time the speech was over and I found her in the packed holiday crowd, she had changed into something more comfortable. We went through the long line to the dining hall for our holiday dinner and cake, and ate it sitting in the Grand Ballroom, sitting on the carpeted floor. I asked, "Do you remember the first question I asked you when we were matched, when we went up on the balcony to discuss?" We are sitting in the same room where we first met, when Father matched us. She nodded yes. "I asked if you could have children. How many children do you want to have?"
"It's up to Heavenly Father."
"I want ten children," I said, half kidding, "Maybe five."
"It is difficult to take care of that many children. You better witness more and find one more spiritual child." The two of us had a total of five spiritual children, and it was recommended that members have at least six before starting a family.
Yoshiko wanted to look for some friends from Boston; we arranged to meet for the Holiday entertainment at the Manhattan Center in the evening. At six she told me that she and her friends would be skipping the entertainment. I went to the program with Debbie, my spiritual mother instead.
Returning from a dinner at Arby's a few nights later I happened to see Yoshiko in the Sona Bona, sitting with an acquaintance, and went in to say hello. She introduced me to her friend and told me that they were on the Folk Ballet together. I asked if Yoshiko had any pictures of the Ballet, and she said, "You always ask for pictures." I left her with her friend.
It was just after 12 noon January 9th when I met with Yoshiko to take her to the matinee of the musical Cats. We started by going to Wendy’s for lunch. I told her that I've been to the doctor about the back injury and he said that I should be back to normal in about a month. "This morning," I said, "Dr. Suek spoke to me and asked me if I wanted to be the editor of the World University Times." I asked her if she would rather me be on the front lines, doing something like witnessing. She said that would be fine, but that she would stay in Happy Group. "What if I have to go to South America," I said, "Would you come and join me doing my mission?"
"I could wait five years." As we walked to the musical she said, "You should feel more, and think more," meaning that I should understand that she is faithful and doing her mission, that there is nothing to worry about. We watched Cats, up to the intermission. She hadn't anticipated it going on so long and left me to watch the end by myself, so that she could return to work.
I set up a typewriter on a coffee table in the 'Writers room' on the fifth floor, so that I could write in a prone position on cushions, to ease the stress on my back. It was a room with blue sky and white wallpaper clouds. I wrote an article for Front Line, CARP's magazine, and finished my twelve page letter to Father. Mike M came in and said he just saw my wife, "I told her, 'You are lucky to have a singer like Bob Dylan and Woodie Guthrie for a husband.' and she said, 'I can't sing, but maybe our children will.'"
Living and working in the same huge building with Yoshiko prior to starting a family put a strain on me with the awkward chance meetings. I met her outside the elevator, she said, "Hello," got in rode up sixth floors staring at the wall, and then left saying, "See you later."
Yoshiko didn't seem to enjoy spending time with me so I talked to Howard Self who advised: "Talk to her friends, to get some insight into how to deal with it, but be very clear so that nothing garbled gets back to her."
I ended up arranging through Yoshiko's Central Figure to talk with Fumia, one of the Happy Group mother figures. Fumia listened to me, and I almost cried when I told her that Yoshiko said that she would be willing to wait for five years before starting a family. Fumia told me Happy Group was trying to help members spend more time with their spouses because Father had said we should love our spouses more than our own children.
Three weeks after going to Cats we had dinner at the Sona Bona. Yoshiko said, "You don't make noise when you eat." She had Raman, which Japanese like to eat steaming hot; the only way to eat it is to suck it in with air to cool it down. She said that she was hoping that someone would tell me to not sign my letters "Stefan-san" because the suffix 'San' was used when you refer to others not yourself. We talked about my mother wanting to visit, and Yoshiko said don't push her; she can come in the spring when it is warmer.
"Canadians are used to the cold," I said. My mother had made arrangements to come on Feb. 8th with Joe, her new 'husband.'
I spoke to Fumia about my mother's upcoming visit, and she said that Yoshiko would have no problem getting time off. I told her that I thought that since Yoshiko was in the position of 'Bride of the Messiah,' that she should be subject but I had just realized that she could be the internal subject concerning spiritual matters and that I should be the external subject regarding physical matters. The reason for this was because Japanese woman need to feel that their husband is a strong subject. Fumia agreed, and got a translator to clarify. She said that for seven years Father raised up mother, and that I could be like Father spiritually for Yoshiko. She encouraged me to watch videos of a forty episode Japanese series called Miyamoto Musashi. It is the story of a self styled Samurai who is chased around by a woman who personifies the ideal mate. There was a tiny television and a VCR at the back of the office, behind a folding screen. Yoshiko joined us and Fumia said that although I appeared to be soft I had a strong internal character, the same as my wife.
"Yoshiko is internally longing for a deeper relationship with you, but is too shy to express herself," Fumia said.
I said that I was almost 32; that most people I went to school with probably had children who are ten years old now. "Yoshiko should trust me."
Yoshiko said that she wasn't shy to be a waitress or to do her mission, but that she was only shy around me because I am her husband. Fumia said that when I come over to watch the video, that Yoshiko would take a couple minutes break from her work to serve me tea and cookies. The two got excited about my mothers visit. Fumia said it was time for Yoshiko to buy a new pair of glasses, to get her hair done, and for some one to help her put on her traditional Kimono so that we could have our portraits taken.
I left them and went to a meeting at the CARP office, with the regional leaders who came to New York the day before Hyo Jin Nim's birthday celebration. I ran into Dr. Suek and he asked me about my injury. I told him it had almost totally healed. Then he asked me if I would like to go back to the front line. "I would like to continue writing for the paper, and go out to California to witness for the summer."
"That is a good idea."
I started seeing the videos; each time I arrived someone would leave the office to tell Yoshiko. The office was almost all Japanese, with only the occasional American. Yoshiko brought me a tray with tea and dried Japanese cookies each visit, smiled, said hello and disappeared.
Sunday morning on the way to Pledge on the 20th floor I met Yoshiko by chance. I told her I did pledge in the Grand Ballroom; she did pledge on the sixth floor with Happy Group. If there were a Twin Peaks where we could pray, she'd be at one and I'd be at the other. Either that or we were both in a valley with an imaginary mountain between.
Tuesday evening I went into the Japanese office to see the 5th and 6th episode of Musashi. I talked to Yoshiko briefly about my mother's visit. She told me that I should buy a dark suit, because dark suits are more dignified. I told her that I would fund raise to make $150.00 to go to a musical. Yoshiko said that if we went to a party at the CARP office, to make sure that no one asked us to sing together.
At CARP's closing meeting on January 29, Jim Osborn announced that I had just completed my first article for the World University Times, "It is the longest article ever submitted."
"With Stefan writing for the paper," Howard quipped, "The word editor will take on new meaning." As it turned out, Howard suggested that Jim be the editor, and that I be the features editor.
I went to the Manhattan Public Library to do research for my articles, and stopped by at the Tiffany building to see Ellen H who worked at for CAUSA. She had just returned from Honduras and had gone into Nicaragua with Lee Shapiro, who was filming Nicaragua Was Our Home. She said that she did this secretly without the knowledge of CAUSA, and disappeared in the jungle for eight days with the Sandinistas in hot pursuit. Ellen gave me the copy of my manuscript, the handwritten work that I had put together in my first six months on MFT just after the Blessing.
I told her the trouble that I had getting Ricardo, the CARP MFT leader in Texas, just to go to the storage facility to look for my stuff. After three months he finally said, "Thieves must have stolen your suitcase thinking there were power tools inside." Ellen was shocked that my 20 journals had been stolen. I gave her a blank journal with the inscription from Matthew 6:19:21: Do not store your treasures on earth where moths can eat them and thieves can steal them... We went to a screening of the Beverly Hills Cop.
Behind the Oriental screens in the Japanese office I saw the 6th and 7th episode, where Musashi was lured from hiding by a monk who has Otsu, playing her flute at a wilderness campfire. Otsu was left at the temple doorstep as a baby with the finely crafted flute, something only a wealthy family could afford as the only clue to her origins. Yoshiko and I had a short conversation. "This cup is mine," she said, "This one is for customers."
The next day, Phil Rogers told me that while everyone was watching the State of the Union Address in the room across the hall from Robin's office, Yoshiko had poked her head in the door looking for me. At the time I was at entrance of the Holland tunnel selling Roses.
Yoshiko and I had a good meeting with me writing and drawing a few things in my notebook, such as "predictable" to describe myself. When she suggested that we take my mother to the Empire State Building, I joked about King Kong. She asked me for the names and ages of my nieces and nephews so that she could get gifts for them. We talked about our names, and she wrote out the Chinese characters for family name, Katayama, which meant 'strong and hard texture of the side of a half a mountain'. Her first name meant a 'good child or a child of good fortune.' We talked about Canada and I drew stick cartoons of an igloo, and a hockey player. I said that it might be good for us to hold hands when my mother comes, she said OK but would wait to hear father's direction afterwards. I reached out for her hand and it retreated.
Yoshiko came into the CARP office while I was on the way to the airport, and left a note saying that she was in the guest room, preparing things for my mother. I picked them up and had a pleasant chat on the way back. Yoshiko was waiting in the lobby wearing her purple ski jacket, with a mauve colored dress suit.
We went to the 35th floor and sat on the bed, with Yoshiko showing an album and me photographing everything. She bought Ginseng for my mother, a doll for Shelly, a shirt for Kelly, a teddy bear for Daniel and a tractor-trailer transformer for Dylan. Mom gave Yoshiko a coffee table book about Canada, a necklace, and some perfume from England.
Dr. Seuk greeted us when we went down to the 6th floor. He said that I was a good fundraiser, a good writer, and that I should have brought my mother to visit a lot sooner. We saw Robin, Heidi, Phil R in their offices, and went downstairs to see Mike J and Mike M in the World University Times office. I showed them my computer terminal, and brought up the file Itinerary. "Welcome Mom, You're mission is to enjoy your visit. First stop is the Empire State Building..."
We walked down 34th Street to the Empire State Building. It was cold and windy and Ma had trouble keeping up. The flight had been rough for them; the city intimidating. I went to the very top; Yoshiko stayed with mom on the large observation deck, and bought her a souvenir plate. We went on the balcony to take a few pictures. Yoshiko asked me what "Big Apple means," referring to the sign "Top of the Big Apple." I pointed to a poster of King Kong and explained.
We hailed a taxi to get back to the New Yorker. "There's never a cab when you need one," I said, trying to emulate a typical pedestrian.
After dinner we went to the 6th floor and watched a video of the 2,075 Couple Blessing. "You must have a lot of respect for marriage, as an institution," my mother said, being polite. I pulled out my album with the public school group shots and Yoshiko pointed to me in each picture.
Outside the elevator on the 4th floor we took some group shots, then went to room 650 so that I could play some songs. Yoshiko asked me to play Country Roads, and I said "If Bob Dylan were here would you ask him to play that song?"
"Play Blowin in the Wind, then, my mother said."
"Well Bob Dylan doesn't play any of my songs so I don't play any of his." Then I played Country Roads Bob Dylan Style and Blowin in the Wind John Denver style. I followed with Walking on Air, Favorite Pony, Soft Shoe, and Imaginary Mountains. Mom and Joe went upstairs and Yoshiko looked through my Imaginary Mountains book of poetry and asked me to sing Hearts in Harmony. Finally I took one last picture with the camera that had been set up on a tripod the whole time, and we prayed to close the day.
We met at 9 for breakfast at the Golden Apple. Yoshiko wore a black velvet suit and I my gray suit. We took some pictures in front of the New Yorker, before heading to Times Square for the musical Tap Dance Kid. While sitting in Howard Johnson for lunch, I left them briefly to buy batteries for my watch. Ma asked about Yoshiko's folks; in 1400 or so their ancestors were retainers for a famous Samurai. Then Ma talked of Kim and Dylan's situation and how her grandmother died two days after giving birth to a child.
To celebrate my birthday we went to the Akihana Restaurant on Broadway. It was the first time my mother had ever experienced a Japanese dinner. We returned to room 650 and exchanged gifts. Yoshiko gave me a sweater, which was a little big and reassured me that I would get fat. Mom gave Yoshiko the ring with the two emeralds and one diamond that she promised would be for my wife, that time we went to the Moscow Circus. (It was Sunday October 9, 1977, Section 52, Row B seat five, WEST, Maple Leaf Gardens. I always kept my ticket stubs and pasted them in my journal.) When I saw Ma in her room earlier she had kissed it good-bye, and said, "I hope it brings the two of you a lot of joy and happiness."
IMAGINARY MOUNTAIN
To love you is like climbing a mountain white with snow
I'd like to reach out to you but it seems so far you know
So many jagged peaks and things I just don't like
But since you're worth the trip I just might take you up
On that hike
Imaginary mountain between your heart and mine
There's just one way to get over it to make our love divine
The sun shines on the mountain the streams are charged with gold
There just might be some nuggets in all that icy cold
Into the distant valleys pure white water flows
I'd like to climb that mountain but I just might get frozen
To my toes
The lakes form in the valleys more water's on the rise
When love melts snowy peaks the mountains aren't so high
The glacier in my heart warmed by your romance
Could break the ice with me and I just might become
An avalanche
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