29: The October Condition

             We started our October fundraising condition with a pledge service by the Suwannee River, in a semi circle before a picture of True Parents. The river was misty and serene, with fish jumping high. John, my new team leader wanted us to take in the beauty of it all. Many times I had played rusty versions of Stephen Foster's The Old Folks at Home on my trusty harmonica.
             There were seven of us traveling in a light blue 1982 Ford XL van, fundraising with cloisonné and puppets with squeaky tongues. John had Joel as an assistant, and I did the bookkeeping. Don, Jerry, Sonny, and Karen made up the rest of the team. The conditions usually started at the first of the month and went on for 21 days.
             On the first day I broke a hundred dollars on my first run, then it became difficult. I had done the apartments two years ago when South East CARP sent out a team fundraising for a month around Christmas. The manager of a complex saw me, but I persevered and sold two puppets. She was wearing a T-shirt with an enlarged fingerprint forming a wave. Inside the crest was a surfer. I liked the design because it shows that something within us can always be seen in the creation. When you look at earth from the edge of space hurricanes look like swirling fingerprints.
             Back at the van John made an interesting point. "The way we feel when rich people refuse to give to us is the same way that third world countries feel when America doesn't help them."
             On the final "blitz" I fundraised some wild bars with Sonny, a black brother who just joined CARP MFT. Our results were good; I came within five dollars of my two hundred dollar goal. Some children on a porch suggested we go across the street; so Sonny went across and made a midnight sale. Then we left Tallahassee and drove to Gainesville with most of us sleeping on the way.
My internal goal was to have tearful prayer. I had a condition to do three seven-minute prayers, on top of our team's goal of a twenty-one minute prayer if we don't make our goal. To eat no sweets, no snacks, and to sacrifice coffee was my external condition.
             I was sitting on the side of the road writing in my journal in the afternoon when John arrived. So I left the shade of the small palm tree and got in the van. We had lunch in a Laundromat while Karen did the laundry. There was a 'KGB GO HOME,' bumper sticker in the bathroom. We were also handing out bumper stickers. At the time, Dr. Seuk, the national director of CARP, was leading a grass-roots protest against the Soviets who had downed Korean Airline Flight 007 on September 1, 1983 killing 269 people.
              Seeking lodging, we went to the local CARP center but no one was there. The building was up for sale. I told Joel that I had stayed in that center for one week, that Howard and Jacinta had snuck up from behind when I was witnessing on the University of Florida campus. ("Howard said 'How would you like to attend Rev. Sudo's 120 Day Workshop in New York.' I said, 'Sure.' 'Well you better pack your bags cause you're leaving tomorrow.'" The workshop started on Jan. 10, 1982, and ended May 10.)
             We had dinner at Angel's Diner in Palatka. Don would skip dinner if he had not made a hundred by dinnertime. He made his goal after spending half an hour in a crowded bar. I hadn't broken through in prayer yet. I talked to Sonny about soul food and to Jerry about the Soviets invading Finland at the beginning of World War II. John said he was pleased that Jerry and I were making a good relationship.
             Our closing prayer was beneath the stars at the beach. I thought of a line in one of my songs: Every freckle disappeared as stars speckled the sky. We were in the middle of a discussion on whether Adam had a navel when a park ranger approached and said, "There's no sleeping on the beach; you have to move along."
             The third day started slow with the puppets, after morning service by a picturesque levee. One clerk in a Christian bookstore said that she couldn't support our ministry because it was Satanic. After asking her if she could love anyone who wasn't a Christian she yelled at me to get out of her store. I said, "God Bless you." (My attitude towards Christians who showed animosity was immature at the time. I was an arrogant Unificationist at times. )

 Stopping is at a Season's Restaurant; I ran into John and had three ice teas. While talking I cleaned the black velvet boards of my jewelry boards with transparent tape. I almost cried telling him that I had felt distant from most of my leaders. I also shared that Don annoyed me with sarcastic noises when we went to the State Park for showers. "Why don't you say something like, 'I don't respond well to sarcasm?'"
             Did a run of motels; no one bought except for one man who talked about the Fall of Man. "It was a literal fall" he said, "And man landed flat on his face." He told me that the stars are without number, which meant infinity of course and when we die we'd be issued our own planet, complete with an Eternal Mate. I knew he was putting me on, but went along with him. He started off by saying, "I wouldn't give you a dime if you were offering diamonds," and ended up saying, "Someday maybe I'll be a Moonie." If he does, I hope he doesn't become a lecturer.
             I stood writing in my journal and waited for pickup beneath a street lamp at South Atlantic and Cardinal, with the breeze and the occasional couple going by. "A man in a dark bar was the only one person who bought from me, it was something for his girlfriend. She was a cute girl who had a terrible time picking out the red unicorn necklace in the darkness. But I had a penlight." Then I read the Principle.
             On the way to Wendy's John talked to Karen, who had been negative all day, having lost her sandals in the night. Jerry shared about his parents being negative about the church, and how they had split up nine years ago. Joel and I talked about cars; and how his dad bought a new car every year. Joel spotted a 1959 Cadillac; I spotted a 1958 Impala, all black with tinted windows. We tried to share with Jerry about '57 Chevy’s and the mystique surrounding them.
             We prayed on the beach; I had yet to shed tears. Then it was hard for me to do the books with the interior light broken. So I used my penlight. Slept at a campground. John gave a morning service on "Spirit World" at the edge of the ocean.

Our team started off with a strong prayer. Jerry and I flipped a coin to see who did what side of Seabreeze Boulevard, the first run on the fourth day. I made $150 with cloisonné on three sales. I ran into Jerry on my side, and tried to be polite asking which places he'd done. We had bad give and take and I apologized. We had about twenty minutes before pick up, so I let him look through my product, to pick out what he needed.
             In the evening Jerry and I did apartments with puppets. It was slow and we talked about some of my eccentric traits, such as being romantic about my wife, writing songs, living in my own personal world and always verging on testifying to myself. Some of these were Jerry's observations.

At the end of dinner at Wendy's we lingered while John talked about the meaning of fundraising. He said that Father was so pleased with CARP's result that he gave two hundred thousand for CARP to make some video centers. Don shared about his father being an executive at Gulf Standard Oil, and about personal computers. So many offices had them, as well as talking Coca Cola vending machines.
             As Don was getting out of the van he threw all the three ring money pouches at me, and the binder fell to the ground. "It's you're responsibility to put them in."
             I told Don that he was being "crude," and he gave me a dirty look.
             John got out of the van and I asked if I could speak to him. Joel smiled and joked, "Take a long time," so that he could delay having to fundraise.
             "Satan is accusing you through Don," John said, "And will continue to do so until you do the books perfectly. You should accept it, and rise above it. God put you in this position for a purpose. What would you do if Don were leading the team?"
             Jerry and I spent fifty minutes fixing our black velvet jewelry boards as students walked by. One Korean lady in a shoe store bought, having read the bumper stickers on our van: 'KGB GO HOME,' and 'From Russia with love,' with the letters outlined by the shape of a bomb. While talking to her an extremely heavy man came in to buy shoelaces. When he left she said that he was "a giant man."
             During the “blitz” I showed Joel some passages in my journal. At least four members on the team were keeping a journal. Karen kept hers to vent her negativity. I told Joel that I had written a 189-page story of my life on the last team. "I was going to give it to my wife, but my spiritual mother said I should burn it."
             My house-to-house run with Jerry was excellent, I Made eighty-seven in a couple hours. One little boy followed me around with a dollar in his hand till we got to his house and his mother bought a puppet for him.

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At Papa Jays; an all you can eatery John talked about how Oakland used to be run by sisters, which "Made wimps out of brothers." Jerry said that Virgil was doing a good job running camp K. We talked about witnessing in San Francisco this past summer.
             I told them about Tony joking around after a prayer at Twin Peaks. "He pointed to Market Street which stretched out in the distance, and said, "I'm gonna divide you up into two teams, and start you off at the beginning of Market. You'll each have a portable table and clipboards. Keep marching down the street until you see a good person. Then set up the table and do a survey. I'll drive down the street in the video van and pick up the guests and take them to camp."
             Driving around looking for a vacated motel room to wash up in one morning the cooler, (Which Joel had been decorating with bumper stickers from radio stations,) fell onto Jerry and Joel as they slept on the floor, spilling ice water and food all over them. It was pretty cramped in the van with seven people, seven duffle bags, boxes of puppets, boxes of jewelry, an ice cooler, a durable plastic milk crate filled with maps and Divine Principle study material. Sometimes we had to get cleaned up at a fast food place. I called them "McBaths."

As we got out of the van for morning service Sonny made Joel and I laugh by singing a parody of the McDonalds song. Don told us not to be disrespectful. John read something about a subject giving love and the object responding by being beautiful. "So if you get bombed, start with a blade of grass, before going onto a complicated thing." Then he spoke directly to Joel and said: "Pac Man doesn't count," referring to Joel's favorite video game. John told Karen to "Write it down," if she gets negative.
             Then Don told Joel to take a toothpick out of his mouth, and he told me not to put the Anti Fungus foot powder near the food.
             My run was an industrial office park complex called Park Center, off Orange Blossom trail. I started off with a sleepy seven-minute prayer; the day was hot. One secretary was about to buy when I got kicked out. Then I did mostly fast food places on Orange Blossom trail. I had an aversion to the area, having led a team here a year ago when Mamaru went to New York for a few days. I fundraised a place called the Doll House to no avail. John said later that we could skip the smutty places. I had made a lot of money in some of them, but it could drag your spirit down. I only made one dollar the whole run. If we don't make a dollar we have to do ten push-ups or squat thrusts, which were matched by John.
             The second run was better doing downtown Kissimmee, a run that Don had just done with puppets. I fundraised the strip with South East CARP and then with Mamaru's team. I remembered one lady who was selling Shaklee Vitamins out of her butcher store.

Since we had two products, one could do puppets, and the next one could do cloisonné. In house-to-house combat with Joel I only sold one puppet. Then Joel played Pac Man as I sold an alligator puppet to a girl at a gas station. We talked to her about cars; she said she was from New Jersey.
             At Wendy's John shared about how the problem they had with chickens disturbing Dr. Durst's lectures at camp K, and how they solved the problem. I was up until three doing the books.
             In Winterhaven I broke two hundred in two runs. Had a tearful prayer to begin and good give and take with Don. Talked to Karen; she was very depressed, and not feeling worthy of the Blessing.
             Near Stonewall Jackson we had morning service by an orange grove. John spoke on the subject of Absolute Value, and why God couldn't intervene at the Fall of Man. John asked a rhetorical question: "Would an orange prefer being eaten by the Messiah or a bourgeoisie pig." I waited for an oink from Don, but none came.
             Our team did very poorly. Our mail arrived, along with a shipment of puppets. I got a letter from my mother, and from Yoshiko. Had to wait to get it translated. Joel traded puppets for pizza and we raided the cooler all the way from Titusville to Coco. John said that we should love each other and unite more, rather than have big arguments over little things.

We closed with a 21-minute prayer at the seashore. I took off my shoes and prayed, walking along between the water and the sand, where the night was mirrored in the wet sand. The stars through the clouds and the bubbles of foam dispersed into exploding galaxies. I felt free as a child, and tears came easily. My prayers were deep. When I was in high school I waded in the water at Sauble Beach in Lake Huron, playing my harmonica with my toes hidden under bell-bottom jeans. I felt joy at that time feeling one with the creation. This time I felt that same oneness with the creation.
             We did pledge facing the Ocean, and then had breakfast at an IHOP. For an hour we had free time at the beach. Joel, Karen and I body surfed. I started a letter to Yoshiko. It was the morning of October 9, at Vero Beach, Florida. At a Wendy's restaurant John said that we had to set the standard, and stop muttering, no pig noises. "The atmosphere of the team is the power base." Don made the pig noises. "Spiritual life is like a roller coaster," John said. "You don't want to just throw up at the end of the ride and not go to Heaven."

On the evening of the tenth, we left West Palm Beach and headed for Fort Lauderdale, hoping to go beyond the area just done by another puppet team. A Unification Church MFT team captain had hit his fist on our van in anger saying, "You didn't check in." In the winter months, especially prior to Christmas Florida would get inundated with fundraising teams. While the team captains were discussing things I went across the street and had my letter translated by one of our rival's members, Setsiko Joyce.
             I did North Palm Beach; the same run I did last Christmas. Some girls from the dentist office bought again. One girl asked, "What if something goes wrong with the puppet?"
             "You can come look for me in Texas."

One lady in a ritzy bar wouldn't let her husband pay seven dollars for a puppet. "Give him ten." A manager of a Burger King bought four puppets and offered me a Whopper. I took an ice tea instead.

When the van pulled into Okefenokee we were all singing Song of the Banquet. Jerry and I did house-to-house and got stopped by the police. So we talked. Jerry was inspired by the prospect of CARP using video centers to witness. I got kicked out of a bar called Frostproof, and wrote in my journal beneath a lamppost.

John had just finished morning service about how, "God looks down and sees two children with hearts hurting, beating on each other's wounds," when we had a another confrontation. While getting ready to shower, I had just locked the van and John tried to get in the drivers side, when Don blurted out at me, "You're getting weird."
             "You're always judging people," I said.
"That's exactly what you're doing," Don said.
             "Knock it off." John said, scolding us.
             John told me later that I should digest what Don dished out, the way Jesus dealt with the Pharisees. "Forgive, and pray for him. The solution was in not just thinking what would Jesus do, but actually acting as if you were Jesus." A day later Don became friendlier and admitted his attitude had been wrong.
             Ask not “What would Jesus do,” ask what, “you would do for Jesus,” I said.

Dropped off downtown in Winter Garden, I starting with the hospital. Fundraising hospitals was not my forte. It was tense all day. Jerry told me that he was discouraged that there were no friendships on the team.
             It rained in the evening — lightning and thunder. One card carrying KKK member liked that we were fighting Communism and bought two puppets, for twelve. I didn't believe him when he said who he was, so he showed me his card. While fundraising, I tried not to judge people, or let them know that I think they were way off base. It was our opinion that by giving, the condition could be made that all people could become closer to God.
             Karen was dropped off at the other end of Palatka with puppets. The people at the furniture store told me someone had been in with puppets three weeks ago. It started off really slow; one lady at a Holiday Inn spent ten minutes trying on combs before selecting one. Before writing out a check she said, "It's not for the Moonies is it?" I shook my head. Usually I would answer 'Yes it is,' but she had wasted ten minutes of my time.

It was raining hard, intermittently. One lady with long black hair asked what cause I was raising money for so I said "The Unification Church."
          "I disagree with your church."
           I said, "Thank you," and walked out of her store. (I was not as humble as I should have been.)
          A few doors down, in the cable store, an officer named Oyster intercepted me. As he spoke I could see the lady with the long black hair on the other side of the street. She had crossed the street to watch. I waved to her while I talked to the cop. "You have to go to the city hall and get a permit to solicit in this town." As I passed through the park on the way to city hall I saw the lady with long black hair and waved at her again. She did not wave back. I was being flippant and spiritually arrogant by waving to her; it was my way of dealing with the negativity.

          I met up with Karen and did house-to-house, asking which houses had children. Karen sold puppets in a bar that I had just done; she could tell because one of the barmaids had on a red unicorn necklace.

Mr. Aoki met us for a quick pep talk for dinner at Quincy’s. Before going on to Chicago he translated my letter and told me that he saw Yoshiko in New York. Mr. Aoki said he was happy that I had good results despite the poor spirit of the team.
          Jerry and I talked about what Mr. Aoki had said about Steve L infiltrating a communist group. He made a plan to get in with them and to one of their rallies, got on stage and took over the microphone declaring, "This is a KGB front group!" The entire woman Communists beat him with their shoes, like Khrushchev at the UN. John said that we paid a lot of indemnity for CARP to be victorious with the KAL rallies.

We showered at Pelican Plaza on Sunday. Took a few pictures behind some beach houses amid snow fences — one picture with tall weeds and dunes; another, with everyone holding puppets.
          The brothers were sitting in a circle at a Season's restaurant when I asked, "Where's Karen?"
          "She's playing Pac Man," the waitress replied. We all laughed.

Jerry and I fundraised Neptune Beach with puppets. In the house-to-house run I sold to an upper and lower level apartment, and the upstairs people were squeaking the puppets out the window to the people in the downstairs window. At the end of Jerry explained why his results were low. "It was all mature people and young kids with lots of money living wild lives."
          We prayed on the beach; it was breezy and gray with drizzle rolling in. Some people were surfing; some were jogging. Walking through a mall I saw a child trying on an E.T. mask. Many houses had paper skeletons and ghosts for Halloween. John told us that we'd be fundraising until the twenty-third, and that Joel had been called upon to go to New York to join a CARP band, that he would have to leave the next day. Then he said that we weren't going to Dallas, but would meet with the whole CARP movement at Yosemite, for a workshop.
          Walking barefoot on the beach, I had a tearful prayer. John told me that he appreciated that I gave Joel the harmonica as a going away present. I had put a money-band around it as makeshift gift-wrap, a wrapper that was intended for thousand dollar bills. I knew I would never need the thousand dollar bill wrappers, but it was always fun asking for them in banks.

Drove all night to Pensacola; after doing Orange Park. Out team did rather poorly. John said that Joel had brightened things up as we walked into Wendy's.
          During the "blitz" we stopped near a truck stop on the way and a lady bought three puppets. During the house to house some one drove by and saw them and bought one. No one bought at the convenience store, but some one in a Jeep doing a U-turn did. The owner of a Chinese restaurant didn't, but one of the waiters did. Made cloisonné sales during the day. One man taking his wife to the doctor's office bought combs for her. The Doctors' receptionist bought a pendant for twenty-five. At the end of the day I needed fourteen to make my goal of two hundred, and I managed to make it selling two for fourteen at a Church's Fried Chicken.
          The team's total for the day was four hundred. Pensacola was good, even though some one with cloisonné had been through the week before. The first run hadn't been done; the second run I went around the back streets. I ended up in a restaurant, where the owner showed me through to the back room, which featured dancing girls. The bartender bought two cloisonné belts, then Sonny walked in with the puppets, and made sales as well. Then we did a short "blitz" together and made eighteen each.
          We drove through the night to Monroe, Louisiana. I did the courthouse, made fifteen, my only sale. Did some doctor's offices and it picked up.
          I was standing at Louisville and North 18th awaiting 5 p.m. pick up and wrote in my journal: "In Ruston Louisiana, I sold a frog puppet to a psychology graduate at Mc Donald’s. He was studying in the dining area and I told him that the puppets were from Mars, that they were named after the two Martian moons, Phobos and Diemos, and had shooting star tongues. I had a puppet on each hand, the frog and a duck. I rarely got into spaced out rapport, but Ronald McDonald said it was OK."
          In the Monroe "blitz" I made ninety at a Color Tile place, selling to a customer; to a Federal Express agent; an Indian motel clerk and all around a beauty parlor. Met Sonny early so we and we had a half hour before pickup. For some reason I rarely made sales in Color Tile Stores. I did a parking lot and traded a Phobos for a haircut. I broke two hundred.

We fundraised around Dallas on the twentieth day. My first run I made $176 with puppets. I was doing well. John's morning service was about 'Harvesting the Pentecost'. I went into a bar and a man in a cowboy hat bought all my puppets for seventy-five, plus the bag to boot. When I returned to the bar after five, the manager said "Hi Stefan."
          The man with the cowboy hat came over and joked with me, "Get out of my territory,” pretending he was a rival salesman. There were puppets adorning the draft spigots. Larry, the manager of Holly Bush told me to drop in the next time I was in town.
          My third run was slow until the end, when I sold four. Some one in a Korean store gave Jerry donuts. Karen couldn't have one because she was on a 'no sugar condition.' She said, "I just broke it." John said that he would give the donuts to Ian's team, who were staying at the Irving center.
          Karen wasn't around for pick up; she left a message at the Berkeley center that she'd be at Denny's. That happened to be where Sonny was being picked up and they were both there waiting. Karen had “donuts” written all over her face.
          I sold only one puppet at a Bowling Alley, but made twenty-nine doing some run down bars. I sat by a Seven Eleven as Jerry fundraised to the few customers. It was 12:14 a.m.
          Our team had breakfast with Ian's team; there was excitement as we met. It turned out to be the last day of the condition; I made three hundred and twenty eight. Again we drove through the night to make it to Midland. I drove from 3:00 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. so I was tired.
          John said we were like cripples climbing a mountain bleeding at the nails. "God sees our efforts and overlooks our shortcomings." I was moved by the analogy and had tearful prayer.
          My first run was slow at first; but I broke through making forty-seven in a flower shop. Downtown was tough. The security guard came by at the Briarcroft Building, when all the secretaries were gathered around. One bought while he watched, then I was escorted out.

We drove to Odessa. My house-to-house run was with Sonny and there were lots of children. Sonny reluctantly agreed to "O.D.U." one block, before doing the contingency strip. That's origin, division and union. When I met up with him a police car approached and we put our puppets away. As we were walking Sonny heard some children and stopped to show them the puppets. The police stopped a few houses down. I said "Just keep on moving." Sonny yelled at me not to tell him what to do. I went around the block. The cops stopped me. Sonny had said, "If they were looking for us, then they would have stopped us, so I kept going." They said we had to stop.
          I went to a Burger King, read the newspaper and had a coffee. The Marxist-Leninists had just had a coup in Grenada. When I told John how I had tried to avoid the police with Sonny he told me that Heavenly Father was trying to teach me something; that I may be acting responsible, but the members may not receive my direction and get bombed out.
          We did some small towns outside of Midland, which was not so productive. John drove all night to El Paso.

At the final prayer I stared at the face of the almost full moon; thinking how it changed, but no tears came. John told us our results for the condition, Don's average was seventy-eight, and mine was one-eighty. Don and I were dropped off together for our pre dinner run Saturday night in El Paso. We sorted things out, sort of resolved things, and Don showed me three of his poems. Earlier, during lunch, I had used a wet wipe to wash my hands before eating and gave one to Sonny. He refused it and said, "Father said we should be able to eat off the ground."
          "He never meant for us to be like pigs," I said, refusing a sandwich made with unwashed hands.
          "That's ridiculous." Karen said. John kept me in the van to talk to me about it, dropping everyone off first.
          Don agreed with me that people should wash their hands when preparing food for public consumption. I knew what John was going to say before he said it. "It is correct to have proper hygiene, but not to make proper hygiene the subject of our relationships; to cut off a child of God. Imagine some day when you have your own children and they offer you a sandwich with unwashed hands."
          Later I ran into Sonny and talked to him about the lunch incident and about the police incident the night before. We straightened things out. I had asked John to put us out together so we could talk. He told me that a crown had fallen out of his mouth and paid a dentist with two puppets to put it back in.

We blitzed Las Cruces. At the Holiday Inn I remembered being kicked out while on Myles' sub-team, but this time I made a sale. The girl at the counter was about to buy when a security guard who looked like Donald Sutherland appeared. He let her buy, and then had a nice chat with me on the way to the front door. Then I sold three puppets at a Bob's Big Boy, as it was about to close.
          I drove from 3:25 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. listening to a tape of Christian songs that my spiritual mother had put together for me. She wrote on the label, 'Some of My Favorites.'
          We had breakfast at buffet and cleaned out the van. The last day was slow, it being a Sunday. I did a small strip and some house to house. I felt very tired from all the driving. Last Sunday we were in Pensacola; Monday — Monroe; Tuesday — Dallas; Wednesday — Midland; Thursday — El Paso, and Friday we reached Phoenix. Felt good to clean the van.
          At the end of the day we had our closing prayer at the truck stop. It was just before the final drive to Yosemite and John asked, "How many of you met Heavenly Father?" I think he was disappointed by our silence.

September 23, 1983 Irving, Texas
Dear Yoshiko-san,

It was good to hear your voice on the telephone, to be able to welcome you back to America. I am happy that you will be working as a waitress in a Japanese restaurant. The New Yorker can be an exciting place to live; I stayed there for four months just before the Blessing at the 120-day workshop. New York is also interesting; but also it can be dangerous. Please take care to always be wary. Mr. Aoki told me that the Japanese sisters are all intuitive and spiritually protected, so I have faith that God will be with you.
             The best thing about being in New York is that you can see Father often. When I was there I saw Father about twelve times; and five or six times I managed to sit in the front row. I have never run so fast, as when first arriving at Belvedere, sprinting to get to the first row. Perhaps Father will look deep into your soul, or touch your heart. Every time Father touched m e, or hit me on the head, I wrote about it in my journal, recording it for posterity, so that someday our children and our descendants will know about it. This was my way of living a life of attendance.
             Our whole Texas region is here for a couple days to share testimonies, receive spiritual nourishment before going out again. Everyone was challenged this last condition, for many it was a difficult time. For the first two weeks of September we were mostly in Southern Louisiana fundraising. Was on a sub-team in a Toyota station wagon selling cloisonné and Freddy and Freda hand puppets. To cut expenses we would sleep in the car and clean up at a public shower or have a McBath at McDonalds.
             Our Region had another condition that we would all fast during dinnertime if we had not made our goal. We are also doing a condition to read the DP six-hour lecture 50 times; I’ve begun my fourth time through. One time during my apartments run I stood under a balcony reading the principle during a thunderstorm.
             I fundraised a podiatrist who gave a donation, and looked at my feet. He said that my ankles had shifted because I have flat feet. All I need in an instep with an arch support. From all the walking I do the problem has gotten worse.
             So much has happened with CARP demonstrating in protest of the Soviets shooting down the Korean airliner on September 1st, in Time Magazine, USA Today and other publications. Father said the Soviets calculated that America was a “dead body,” that they were poking this body to see if it would wake up.
             I hope you are happy now that autumn is here. The leaves will be turning colors, gold red, yellow and then will return to the earth. Please take care of your spirit and health. ITPL Stefan

October 9, 1983 Vero Beach, Florida

Dear Yoshiko-san,

          Greetings from sunny Florida. This morning our team had an hour of free time at the beach; I had intended to spend the whole time writing you, but spent the time swimming instead. We body surfed; catching a wave as it crested, letting it carry us towards the shore.
          Last night we closed the day with a 21-minute prayer at the seashore. I took my shoes off, and walked between the water and the land, where the night sky was mirrored by the wet sand. The stars through the clouds, the bubbles of foam dispersing into exploding galaxies… I felt free as a child and tears came easily, my prayer was deep.
          My internal goal for this 21-day condition has been “Tearful prayer.” Last night, and the other morning I was able to break through. The best place for me to pray is the creation. Also; when I when I feel God’s suffering as my own, then tears can come.
          Perhaps you may have heard; Father was so happy with CARP’s witnessing result that he gave $200,000.00 for video centers. We are all very proud to be serving Father.
          It is now October 16, one week later, a few minutes at the ocean again. Mr. Aoki came to visit us on the 14th; the day Father was liberated. He translated your letter at the airport, before taking an early flight. Our team has been struggling a lot, but Mr. Aoki was happy that my result was consistent. Our team has some members who are high sellers, but all have strong characters, which can rub each other the wrong way.
          Last night we prayed on the beach again, and had pledge service facing the ocean. I took my shoes off and walked along praying, wading in the waters that washed the shore. When I was in high school I used to love walking along Sauble Beach on Lake Huron with just a little water touching my ankles. I would play the harmonica, as I walked along, back then, feeling the joy of being one with creation. Last night I felt like that child as I walked along and tears came as I prayed for each member of our team. Mr. Aoki often speaks about having special moments with Heavenly Father; perhaps looking at the moon with a tear in your eye, or the sunrise at dawn. I think I’ll remember these prayers the same way.
          You mentioned to me that I should love fundraising; more and more I’m beginning to see the value of it. Perhaps the most important thing is to develop my heart and spirit. Since the Blessing makes us one, and this family makes us all part of one body then we can share all victories as our own.
          This morning one brother from our team was summoned to New York to join a band. Perhaps you may see him his name is Joel. We never know when heaven will call us to change missions; so I will always try to do my best and have an Abel Heart for God and True Parents. ITPL Stefan