30: A Letter Written By a Quiet Stream

             Rev. Won Pil Kim gave an inspirational sermon at the workshop in Yosemite; afterwords members asked him to sign their journals. He signed my big black journal. The first time I saw Won Pil Kim was one evening at the Boston Church on Beacon Hill. The front door was open and I saw a Korean man get out of a cab. At first I thought it was Father. He came inside and shook our hands. At that time I asked him to sign my journal as well.

             John put me in charge of the sub team with Cliff and Jerry. Our team went to the movie, The Right Stuff, before the condition started. We did towns around Santa Monica. It was tough. Jerry and I had two helpings of desert and kicked off our "no sugar condition". I drove Jerry to Palm Springs. Met Cliff at the airport; it was pouring rain and the three boxes of puppets got soaked, on the back of our tiny Datsun station wagon. We had the large box tied to the slanted rear window of the car, and it was wonder the front wheels stayed on the ground. Cliff and I spent three hours buying a thousand dollars worth of cloisonné from a wholesaler in downtown L.A. Then I drove to Palm Springs to pick up Jerry, who had a fever.

             Our sub team joined with CARP members in down town L.A. on October 31, for a rally supporting President Reagan and the invasion of Grenada. I held a sign with the marine motto of 'Semper Fi' on it. After the rally Dr. Seuk took fifty of us to a Korean Restaurant called Bo Han. Then we went to the center to watch the rally on the evening news.
             I sat in a Pizza Hut writing in my journal waiting for John's daily call. "We drove till four to Lake Havusu City and camped at a state park. I slept outside the car wondering if a rattlesnake would get me. Did a town with cloisonné; there was little interest in our product. Cliff did it with puppets. Jerry did Parker. We were to meet John in El Paso. Some ladies invited me to their break area in their office; gave me two tiny snicker bars and looked at the jewelry." I stood by the phone for fifteen minutes waiting for John to call. It was difficult to coordinate our calls when we were both leading teams.

It was Children's Day when our fifty-day condition began. We left the main team at Motel 6 and drove off. After driving forty miles in the wrong direction before realizing it, we were late getting into Alamagordo. For two months straight three of us would be living and sleeping in the car. Usually I would drop Cliff and Jerry off at their towns, and made arrangements to pick them up at the Mc Donald's at nine, at the end of the day.
             On my way to my area I would stop at out of the way trading posts and shops, because these places almost never got fund raised. I devised a plan to fund raise with two products; my jewelry box could be put into my puppet bag, if it looked like the puppets might be a better prospect.
              We did small towns in the mountains of New Mexico that rarely had been fund raised. On the weekends we would drive to small towns and divide the area equally, so that each of us has the same chance. At least I thought I was dividing the area equally.

On the morning of November 9 we woke up to frost on the tumbleweeds. I had slept beneath the stars. I wrote a letter to Yoshiko as we drove by the painted cliffs of Arizona, on route to Gallop, New Mexico.
             We tried to have morning service at the Petrified Forest National Park, but it is closed. I fund raised the village of Zuni, an Indian Reservation. There were only a dozen shops there and nearly all of them were trading posts for Indian Jewelry. I made one sale of $110.00 to two Indian girls who were in the midst of selling supplies to jewelry makers. After that I had to race back to Grants and Gallup to pick up the team. I drove through the mountains to Cloudcroft, a tiny mountain village aptly named for the clouds drifting through. Made some big puppet sales in a couple of general stores.
             In Holbrook, Arizona Jerry broke $550.00; he hitchhiked to a courthouse outside of town and got a ride in a new Lincoln Continental. He prayed fervently before making $350 then got a ride back with a court reporter who took him home for dinner. After dinner he sold cloisonné to the man's wife.
             Jerry had a problem with my leadership, claiming I should be parental and always give the best area to the team members. He didn't like my joking around. He thought I was not being fair in dividing the area; keeping the best spots for myself.
             Early one morning we were traveling with Jerry behind the wheel. Both Cliff and I were asleep in the back seat. Suddenly the car went off the road at sixty miles per hour and was bouncing all over the place and tumble weeds were streaking over the windshield. Jerry had fallen asleep and ran off the road into the barren and bumpy desert. We got out and looked at the car. There was no damage, but the box that has been tied to the back had torn loose leaving a trail of hand puppets tangled in the tumbleweed. I reported this incident to Mr. Aoki who put Jerry on a forty day "no-driving" condition.

             The day after thanksgiving we got snowed in at Lamar Colorado. We stayed in a motel for one night, then on the Sunday I told them we would be fund raising. They were shocked and put up a mild protest, because of the snowstorm. Actually the storm was over, it had stopped snowing the sun was shining and some of the roads still needed to be plowed. "You can tell your children someday that you had an MFT leader who made you fund raise in a blizzard." We put plastic bags inside our sneakers and bundled up warmly. One lady invited me into her house and fed me turkey sandwiches. The following day we headed towards Texas hoping to find better weather.
             Just before Christmas I made $616.00, my highest result ever by leaving the two in one town early and traveling 120 miles to another town. That evening Wilbur, who had just joined the sub-team was driving and failed to heed a 'Bridge Freezes When Wet," sign and skidded off the freeway into a ditch. We sustained two flats and had to be towed to a garage.
             Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we fund raised with roses around San Antonio. We constructed cardboard shelters around the rose buckets and kept them warm with candles. A lot of roses froze, and we left puddles in the van when the ice on our boots thawed out.

After the condition, we were given CARP jackets and went to LA and Disneyworld. I was one of the six top fundraisers who flew to New York City. Jerome, who was the highest fundraiser, walked around the plane squeaking puppets, fundraising to the passengers to make some spending money. The rest of us tried to sleep but couldn't because several children had purchased puppets and were squeaking them.
             Our trip to New York was almost canceled because True Parents planned to stay in Korea. But then Father and Mother returned to America because their son Heung Jin Nim was in a coma from a car accident.
             I met Yoshiko on the fourth floor of the New Yorker where she was helping setting up the offering table. We had the afternoon to spend some time together. I took notes of most of what father said at the midnight address.
  

Alvin

We flew back to LA. One night we had a big Yute game and everything ended up in a brotherly brawl. A lot of team leaders literally lost their shirts. I got switched to Ricardo's team for four days, then to Brian's team. Ricardo had maps with every posible fundraising place highlighted. Brian put me in charge of a sub team.
             I lead the sub team again with Gaetan and Alvin, a very unusual brother. Alvin had been told not to write in his journal, so he would wake up at three in the morning to write in his sleeping bag with a flashlight like a kid at camp after the lights went out. Alvin was obsessed with food. Instead of having breakfast at a fast food place, Alvin would buy a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter, and would make a stack of sandwiches. Then he would eat them all, at one sitting. Sometimes he would return to the van with pizza's saying they were "donations." One time, instead of fund raising the front of a strip of stores, he fund raised the back, and found what he thought was the jackpot — several boxes of National Geographic magazines. Alvin said that it was very rare for people to throw out these magazines, and was excited at the prospect of getting the complete selection at one fell swoop. I regretted telling him, when he took me to the dumpster with the seven huge boxes teaming with back issues, that there was no room in the compact car, what with the huge box of puppets perched precariously on the hatchbaclk.
             While fund raising the badlands Alvin insisted on fund raising all night to make his goal. But when we stopped for dinner all he had was fifty dollars. To reach a goal of $200.00 another $150.00 was needed. If a person wasn't close to their goal after twelve hours steady fund raising, it is not likely they will make it in the late evening, when all the stores had closed. Alvin insisted on being driven dozens of miles to find a Seven Eleven. As luck would have it, we came upon what I thought was the perfect place—an abandoned ghost town. I stopped the car at the parking lot and said, "Here we are Alvin, you can fund raise here all night long if you want to." I did not expect him to get out of the car, and I did not think there would be pitfalls, when he did in fact get out of the car. A park ranger spotted us, and told Alvin to get back in the car, and said that it was dangerous at night, with all the mineshafts. Alvin may not have been too happy with me after that, but he certainly didn't make any more absurd requests.

Brian was always initiating wild conditions for the team. He had a philosophy that the members had to be humbled so that they could be obedient. His motivation was heartistic, and he had achieved a level of success. One of his conditions was to do ten squat thrusts, push ups, or deep knee bends every time that we went out of the van and didn't make any money. He would match any exercise that the team did, and often ended up doing two hundred push-ups by the end of a day. Other conditions included no snacks, no sugar, no coffee and no serving yourself.
             One time the main team and the sub team were driving together, and when I woke up in the back seat of the car, I was told that Brian had changed the team around during the night, and that Alvin was now the leader of the team. Alvin immediately took it upon himself to become a super captain. He would drive us all night until we made our goal, even if it took till four a.m. But then he would sleep in till noon, and not get started till after lunch, and it would be even harder to make our goal. The next night Alvin drove all night, until 5:30 in the morning trying to make an extra five dollars. I'm sure he must have burned up ten dollars of gas attempting to make the five. That day Alvin slept all day, for he was a super captain and needed his strength to drive us around all night when the shops were closed.

I asked Alvin for money for new razors, and he said that Brian didn't allow personal toiletry articles, except for toothbrushes. Brian thought personal toilet kits promoted individualism, a devastating spiritual malaise. I threatened to buy my own blades with my result money, and Alvin opened a Way of Tradition, a tiny book of Father's quotes for MFT members and pointed to a quote that basically said that I would fry in hell forever for embezzling heavenly money. Finally Alvin called up Brian and got permission for me to use disposable razors. I would use one of them and then toss it in the wastebasket. There was no way that I was going to shave with a communal razor. As soon as Mr. Aoki found that Alvin had been made a team leader he was sent back down the ranks.
             I called Yoshiko from a phone booth on the West coast as girls in bikinis and guys with surfboards walked by. I told her that I wanted to become a leader and she said that the members give the leaders a big head ache, and they end up having mental problems, which was her way of saying that the members would drive you nuts.
             We drove across the country and fundraised Florida. Florida was a lot like a fallen paradise. I tried to fund raise a Burger King full of high school students, and almost all of them refused to give us even a dime. A couple of older students gave some small change to 'fight Communism.'
             We had a morning service from a Today's World, all of us standing in a circle in a parking lot. It was from the issue with the cover photo a picture of father carrying one of the original disciples on his back during the Korean War. The photo had been discovered in the United Nations archives. I was very moved by the service and by the story of the man who was carried on Father's back.

November 9, 1983 — 34 Miles West of Gallop New Mexico

Dear Yoshiko-san,

             I’m writing this as we drive by the painted cliffs of Arizona, on our way to Gallop, New Mexico. Hope you’re doing fine. Woke up this morning, there was frost on all the tumbleweeds. I slept beneath the stars. Almost had morning service at the Petrified Forest National Park, but it was closed. It has been very good these past few days; our condition has gotten off to a great start. Yesterday I drove alone through the wilderness and fundraised the village of Zuni on an Indian reservation. There were only a dozen shops; mostly Trading Posts for Indians, where everyone came in to buy turquoise and silver, to make jewelry. Then I had to race to Grants for Jerry, and return to Gallop.
             The other day I drove through mountains to Cloudcroft; a tiny mountain village with clouds all over and made some big puppet sales in a couple general stores and saloons. I feel heavenly Father and spirit world have been guiding me to out of the way places. In some towns I’m fundraising to the same people as I did last May, I remember them, and they me. Made a few more sales to them. Our team has great unity; both Jerry and Cliff are top fundraisers; very Able members. So we should be able to break through. Anyhow; things are going well for our little sub-team. Please take of yourself. ITPL Stefan

November 4, 1983, El Paso, Texas

Dear Yoshiko-san,

             It is the last evening before our 50-day condition. This past week has been intense, with our preparation. I have realized how much my spirit and actions affect the team, being in a leadership position. Because I didn’t pray hard enough, and didn’t have the best focus the results weren’t so good. This I shared with my team leader, John and made a determination to repent and set good conditions. It has been more intense for me because the top fundraisers this time will get to go to New York. So I have decided that I will devote myself to being a good leader, and have a parental heart — to sacrifice winning for myself so that the members have a chance to go. Because of all the pressure I have had problems with my stomach, and had some bad habits affect me; but I have determined to make my spirit clear. We have been eating only fast foods; which gives me indigestion; so I’ll try to get some healthier food to help. Also we’ve been driving at a hectic pace, all night long, sleeping in the car.
             This morning service I read from the Way of Tradition about True Parents — about how we should have spiritual experiences with Father.
             The main-team and our sub-team and have met in El Paso and will now have one final dinner together before starting the condition. I hope that everything is going well for you in the Big Apple. ITPN Stefan

November 27, 1983 — Lamar, Colorado

Dear Yoshiko-san,

             Our little sub-team has been snowed in by a great blizzard, so there is time to write you. We braved the elements today to sell puppets door-to-door — it was a good experience. One lady made us three turkey sandwiches when she learned of our situation. We did fairly well for a Sunday. All the roads are closed, so we are lucky to be in a motel. Usually we sleep in the van to save money and only stay at a motel once a week for pledge service.
             The two brothers with me are Jerry and Wilbur Hathaway, both top fundraisers. You may know Wilbur’s wife Eiko Kashiwazaki from the folk ballet.
             Our team has been blessed with good results. As you may recall from my last letter, I was concerned that my result might go down because I was leading a team and would not be able to fundraise as much, having to drive the team around and taking care of things. Actually for the first two weeks I had the highest result, breaking my one-day record in Walsenburg, Colorado with $546.00. It might have been higher, but we quit early so that we could drive through the night to another town. Usually I drop the two members off in small towns then drive 50 - 60 miles to do a smaller town. We did towns in New Mexico, and then sold flowers in Amarillo, Texas on Thanksgiving. On Friday I fundraised Dalhart and did very well. While downtown the fire truck drove through town with Santa Clause in front waving to children. As he listened to little children’s wishes on his knees I sold a lot of cloisonné next door at a bookstore.
             This morning I gave the direction that we would fundraise house-to-house during a snowstorm; and Jerry and Wilbur had no complaints; they actually left the car with bright spirits, running to their area. Actually when we started the snowstorm had just subsided and the only problem was the snow on the ground. We had to bundle up warm. It didn’t bother me so much because I have a warm ski-jacket, and with plastic bags over my socks, my feet were warm all day. Most people were open, inviting us in from the cold. It reminded me of Canada, where people become friendlier during a snowstorm.

            There have been so many incredible things happen; I wouldn’t know where to begin. Jerry broke $500.00 as well in Holbrook, Arizona, getting a ride in a new Lincoln Continental. He prayed fervently before making $350.00 in the courthouse, then got another ride into town with a court reporter who invited him home for dinner where his wife also bought a lot of cloisonné.
             It is now getting late, so I must begin closing this; it seems calm outside; hopefully we’ll be able to drive to another city to continue. Let us make the most beautiful dream come true; bringing the love of True Parents to this lost and lonely world. Take care- May God Bless you and embrace you with his love. ITPL Stefan

December 28, 1983 Los Angeles, California

Dear Yoshiko-san,

             With this letter I would like to send you my best wishes for a Happy God’s Day, and for the New Year to be very prosperous for you. Finally, our 50-day condition is over; we finished our testimony meeting and have free time all day. This evening Mr. Aoki will take the top five fundraisers, the top two new members and the top three team leaders to a Korean restaurant. Since I was the 5th highest I will go there too. Mr. Aoki was pleased that I made a high result while leading a sub-team. The brother you met in New York, Andy Morris was the top fundraiser, and he shared how he would pray before each run until he cried. He would pray that the other members would gain the victory, and cried for America, taking responsibility for this nation.
             After the blizzard we drove south into Texas and spent the remainder of the condition there. I had good experiences in small towns and county seats. At one, there were only three places to fundraise, including the courthouse. I made about $300.00 sale at one convenience store; then drove on to the next town and made $100.00 in a restaurant, breaking $500.00.
             Towards the end of the condition, one night Wilbur was driving and hit a small ice patch on a bridge (There was a sign: “Watch For Ice on Bridge,”) and skidded from one side of the Freeway to the other ending up in the ditch. Some one pulled us out with their pick-up truck, then we changed the flat tire and I bought some chains for the tires. That day I made only $150.00.
             We fundraised flowers in San Antonio for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was between 14˚and 23˚F each day. We put cardboard around our buckets and put a candle in them to keep them from freezing. Roses froze, and the snow on member’s clothes melted intro puddles in the van.
             Tomorrow we will go to Disneyworld, and then prepare to fundraise a couple days. A few CARP departments will gather here on the 5th to see Dr. Seuk; then we’ll head east. Mr. Aoki prayed over Father’s words and put a different quote in each of our Greeting Cards. We all received ginseng from Korea, cards from Japan, a wallet containing $21.00 and a new jacket with “CARP MFT on it.” [The Last Page or pages is missing.]

January 7, 1984 — Newport Beach, California

Dear Yoshiko,

             The past few days have been hectic and exciting, with many changes and new experiences for us all — so where do I begin? There was just enough fruit [you gave me] from the offering table for each CARP team to divide up for each, so thank you very much. As you may gather, my luggage was found and was delivered to me a day after arriving in L. A.
             I joined Ricardo’s team for a few days, fundraising along t he Coast of Orange County. The results for CARP MFT have been low — this being usual for the time after Christmas.
             We gathered late last night to hear a report of the leader’s meeting with Mr. Aoki. I’m grateful to have been in New York on God’s Day to see Father, and to hear such an historical speech. I had a determination to have the right heart, considering the ascension of Heung Jin Nim.
             Andy shared last night that he was disappointed that there weren’t so many brother’s and sisters lined up early to get a front row seat to see Father. Andy and Dominique were in the front row, five rows in front of me.
             I was happy to see you in New York; we seemed to get along well; with our heartistic connection deepening. It will be good to see you again sometime.
             This morning I gave the morning service on the need to shed tears, imagining that Jesus’ disciples must have shed tears at the time of crucifixion and before the Pentecost. Perhaps that was a foundation for unity for them to receive the Holy Spirit.
             For the next ten days I will be leading the sub-team doing small Towns in Arizona then returning to L. A. to meet with everyone, and Dr. Seuk. Please take care don’t work too hard, (just kidding) May you have many experiences with God and True Parents. ITPN Stefan

April 1, 1984 — Irving, Texas

Dear Yoshiko,

Heavenly greetings and God’s blessings to you on this Parent’s Day. Hope you are happy and smiling, in good health and doing well in your mission.
             For the first half of our last condition the sub-team, under the leadership of Gaetan, fundraised southern Louisiana. During a Mardi gras parade Cliff and I fundraised a town caught up in the festivities and did fairly well, despite the challenge. Gaetan ended up joining a team in California, and I became the sub-team leader. For the remainder of the condition we will spend four days of the week on the road in Northern Texas and Southern Oklahoma, returning to the Dallas area to sell flowers on the weekend.
             Each of us has our own stoplight. I have done well in front of a Texaco station on a median, but the police warned me not to continue or else get a ticket. They do permit me to sell on the side of the street away from the traffic.

There is one woman from Taiwan at the Texaco station who is interested in the business aspect of what we are doing, but she does not have the foundation to join, being a Buddhist at heart. The district manager let me fundraise in front of the gas station because my presence had the potential to discourage criminal activity.
             A while ago Mr. Aoki told Brian to raise me up to be a team leader, to scold me a lot. If there is the slightest mistake Brian finds out and lets me know. Since getting a real scolding for complaining I’ve changed drastically.
             Lately it has rained and the countryside is verdant green, with tinges of purple here and there. I love driving through pretty countryside through the back roads of America.
             After our last condition we did a 6-day condition of selling flowers, while the team-leaders met with Mr. Aoki in California. At that time, I lead a team of 7 or 8 members, driving through the Freeways of Dallas.
             We made preparations to greet Dr. and Mrs. Seuk at the airport. It had been 10 years since Mrs. Seuk had left New York; around 35 members prepared banners and staged an enthusiastic fanfare to embarrass them as they walked briskly through. At a meeting afterwards I was called upon to give my testimony; basically it was focusing on uniting with Abel, and how the MFT experience was a beautiful way to pay indemnity.
             We all went to a State Park to continue our meetings; Mrs. Seuk gave her testimony of how she first came to America and worked with Bo Hi Pak, setting up the first center in New York. It was interesting to hear a first hand report of Father’s first trip to America.
             In the afternoon we had a picnic by the lake and had individual entertainment. During a baseball game I hit two home runs. Afterwards we returned to Dallas and had dinner at the Bonanza Restaurant. I sat beside Dr. Suek; he suggested I write an international CARP theme song.
             A few days later we celebrated Parent’s Day the sisters made an offering table, we read one of Father’s Parent’s Day speeches. In the evening we met with the other MFT in Dallas. There were about 100 members in all, and all of them were on MFT. We watched a two and a half hour video on Heung Jin Nim’s Sung Wha Ceremony. It was good to see brothers and sisters we’d never met before — but we didn’t have time to share with them.
             My result from the last condition qualifies me to go to Houston for a week of witnessing. Instead, I will wait for three conditions and go to San Francisco for a month. California seems to be the best place to bring the victory.
             For this condition I’m praying 21 minutes daily, to inherit the sacrificial heart and filial piety of Heung Jin Nim, and to develop some sort of relationship with him, so that he can give me some spiritual assistance. I’ve been giving morning services about Heung Jin Nim from a recent Today’s World magazine.

Here on the sub-team we’ve had many heavenly experiences. Since I don’t get as much time to fundraise while leading, I make a goal to have $200.00 by five o’clock when I drive to the nearby towns for the two others. Each day I’ve made my goal; sometimes it was spirit world at the last moment. Wanda, the sister on the sub team this time, did poorly the other night, she drove around with me to a few places and made over a hundred dollars in a few places. The other brother, Roland, needed to make $200.00, so I drove him around and finally had it by 2:30 am. We’ve been doing small towns, with me doing smaller towns such as Lone Grove, Model, Tishomingo, Atoka and Antler. In Antler I sold one rainbow unicorn picture to a grandmother in a hamburger stand that was once a passenger car on the Rock Island Line. I must be closing this soon. Please take care of yourself. Let us both become as sacrificial in heart as Heung Jin Nim, becoming exemplary children attending True Parents. God bless you abundantly with much love. ITPL Stefan

April 29, 1984 — Irving Texas
Dear Yoshiko-san,

Hopefully, springtime will be touching your heart as you read this. May God’s love be with you always as you work hard to bring about His Kingdom. Creation is blossoming back to life now; it is already summer here. I’m getting a little brown around the edges, from the sun, but as you have said my heart is pure. Just before writing this I prayed beneath the stars, and thought how much it would be nice to be humorous to lighten your heart. But tears were about to come. I can imagine your kind smile and heavenly laughter that resembles mother. Laughter from a sister who is so full of heavenly grace is like the fragrance of a rose.
             I just wrote one letter but wasn’t happy with it. There were three words I wanted to express to you — can you guess what they are? I’d like my every action to be an expression of the greatest love, the love of God and True Parents. It is my desire to be the very best husband for you, to shower you eternally with God’s Love.
             You mentioned something in our last telephone conversation about feeling you should write me, because of our future. It must trouble your heart not to write me. I have always tried to be understanding, and never complaining that you don’t write so much; perhaps I should let you know this one time that I am also concerned about our future, and the vertical development of our relationship. Please try to put more effort into writing me; I’m longing to learn more about you; to share deeper give and take. As I said before I’m grateful for the few letters that you have written, and will not worry if you don’t write. The more important thing is that you are serving God and True Parents; that is much more important than me. To be perfectly honest, I think the telephone is too horizontal, and costs a lot. In any case I feel our relationship is unfolding according to God’s plan.

            We are preparing for a 40-day condition, which will start on May 7 to June 15, and then there will be a week-long CARP workshop in Colorado. After that, I’ll spend one month witnessing in San Francisco. Since September will be when my two years on MFT will be completed, I will dedicate myself to accomplishing all that I set out to do on MFT. After September, I may not be able to write until after the condition.

             Tomorrow we will have testimony meetings. Brian returned from California where they met with Mr. Aoki. He said that I was third or fourth highest this time. Mr. Aoki asked Brian about me. Brian told him that I am changing so Mr. Aoki is impressed. The other night at our team meeting three members who worked with me on the sub-team, plus one other shared how they had enjoyed working with me; being challenged to breakthrough. My testimony will focus on the importance of helping brothers and sisters. As I told you my goal was to make $200.00 by 5 pm, when I would Pick up Wanda and Roland. Nearly every day I made my goal. I feel that God was able to bless me with a good result, because of my love for the members, in sacrificing my result to help them break through. I’ve been trying hard to unite with Brian Stott, my team leader and having many good experiences. He shared with me that our relationship with our Abel reflects our relationship with God. It seems now that this is the best time for me.

             As I continue writing this it is May 1st, the 30th Anniversary of the Unification Church. This morning all this region’s CARP members met with all the rest of the members of this area. About 90 people all joined hands in a circle around the two trees at the Holy Ground Father made 19 years ago. The Holy ground is beside White Rock Lake, and is very picturesque. As I walked through a meadow strewn with flowers to the shore a solitary white crane flew. We all had an embracing spirit with an impromptu picnic and a soccer game in which CARP won. It was really moving to think how much Father has accomplished, shedding blood sweat and tears for us all. It was the first time in over a year being in the area, that we went to the Holy Ground; everyone was bright and inspired.
             Throughout the last condition, God blessed me with many moving experiences; especially in the small Oklahoma towns I fundraised. One bank was good in a tiny town; I ended up behind the counter, in the back room at the drive through window. As cars came by the bank teller would hold up the prints to the customers. I sold a lot, but none to the customers. Another town had only a general store, a post office and a gas station. The people there bought two, and then asked if I gave them a good deal on one more if they convinced customers to buy. One did, four for twenty dollars, and I gave them a copy of “Footprints” for whatever they wanted to donate. While everyone was looking at the pictures a telephone installer was interrupted from drilling a hole in the wall, but he didn’t mind, because he liked the pictures too. The people in Oklahoma are wonderful. Each town was a pleasure to do; except one where I was almost arrested by the police. On my stoplight during the weekends it was good too. Most of the people drive by in old clunkers, rusty Cadillacs and Continentals, sports cars and low riders. It was an ethnic area. There are lots of tiny children in the cars, and I always wave at them. A lot of young couples buy roses. The manager at the Texaco lets me sell, so I have a good spot. On Easter I made a determination to stay at my light for 24 hours with just a short nap in the car. Roland joined me with this condition, but I fell short of my expectations and only made about $250.00. I sold some roses to a couple on their honeymoon; their car was all soaped up with tin cans attached.

 Mr. Aoki came the day before the condition started; it is now the 7th, just before morning service. Mr. Aoki took me aside and told me that the team leaders had reported good things about me that I may not get to witness after the Colorado workshop, that God may have other plans for me. (Leading a team.) He spoke about meeting you, and saying something about you not being worried about my position, whatever I do is fine with you.
             When I mentioned that I’d called you, Mr. Aoki reminded me that it is Father’s direction for us not to call during the separation period, unless it was an emergency. (Father’s told us to limit phone calls to one minute—our regional mother told me I should call you so that we can communicate more.)
             We are doing many conditions now: running each morning; reading the principle each day; no coffee, no sugar; no snacks; no serving yourself; no meal, except if we make our goal, a 21 minute prayer condition to pray for each team member by name, 10 push-ups, or sit-ups for each run with no result. Our goal is to shed tears for man, blood for heaven and seat for earth; we should all be in shape for Colorado. Wanda and Roland are again with me.

             When I started out, after talking with Mr. Aoki, I drove along, and tears were about to come, realizing this might be my last chance to fundraise. I have come to love fundraising, because you gave me that direction. I am awaiting more direction to push me to the highest realms of heaven. Today (the 9th) the sky was blue the trees and meadows so green. Wildflowers along the roadside were so beautiful; I picked some for you for Mother’s Day. It was my first time to see Texas Blue Bonnets –such a pretty name for a flower.
             Please take care of yourself. You might call my mother on mother’s Day; she’d like that. Hope everything goes well for you. I’ll be praying for you everyday. In True Parent’s Love, Stefan

For the first half of the March '84 condition our sub-team, lead by Gaetan, fundraised Southern Louisiana. During the Mardi Gras we did a town caught up in the festivities. It was difficult, with the big parade, but we persisted and had good results. Gaetan was taken off the team, and I assumed leadership with Cliff and Wanda. Brian was trying to raise me up to be a team leader, and scolded me for every little mistake. At the end of the month we spent four days fundraising in Northern Texas and Oklahoma, returning to Dallas to sell flowers on the weekends.
             Each of us had our own stoplight; mine was a median strip in front of a Texaco station. The police prohibited me from fundraising on the median, so I worked the side of the road. A young Taiwanese lady who worked at the station was interested in the business aspect of what we are doing. The district manager of the station didn't really want us there, but let us because our presence might discourage someone from robbing the station.
             One night it was raining at the stoplight, but I kept singing and prayed that spirit world would help, and right away a car pulled up and three men bought some roses. It rained a lot and the countryside turned verdant green, with tinges of purple. It was pleasant seeing the wild flowers driving through the back roads of America.
             At the end of the previous month we did a six-day stint of selling flowers while the team leaders met with Mr. Aoki in California. At the time I lead a team of eight members driving the freeways around Dallas to their flower stands, working out of our home base in Irving Texas. The purpose of the condition was to prepare for Dr. and Mrs. Suek's visit. Mrs. Suek hadn't been out of New York for ten years; we all knew that it would be a special event. Around 35 members were waiting for them when they arrived at the airport, with banners, and staged an enthusiastic fanfare to embarrass them. The guests of honor walked briskly through our lines.
             At the meeting I was called upon to give my testimony — basically it was about focusing on uniting with Abel; how the MFT experience was a good way to pay indemnity and connect to brothers and sisters. Everyone who testified tried to be totally internal with vertical depth. Mrs. Seuk later shared that she was impressed with our spirit, realizing how difficult is to change. We all went to a State Park to continue our meetings.
             Mrs. Suek gave her testimony of how she first came to America with Bo Hi Pak to set up the first center in New York. It was interesting to hear a first hand report of Father's debut in America. In the afternoon we had a picnic by the lake and sang songs. I hit two home runs during a baseball game. We returned to a Bonanza restaurant in Dallas for dinner. I sat beside Dr. Suek and he suggested that I write an international CARP theme song.
             We celebrated Parent's Day; the sisters prepared an offering table and we read one of Father's speeches. In the evening we met with the other MFT teams in Dallas. About a hundred members were present. We watched a two and a half hour video of Heung Jin Nim's Sueng Wha ceremony.
             My result from the last condition qualified me to witness in Houston for a week, but I saved up my time over three conditions to go to California to witness for a month in the summer. California was the place to bring the victory.
            During the condition I had a 21-minute prayer daily to inherit the sacrificial heart of Heung Jin Nim; I had been giving morning service about Heung Jin Nim from a recent Today's World magazine, and in doing so had some good experiences.

On the sub-team we had many heavenly experiences. Since I didn't get as much time to fundraise while leading the team, I made a goal to have two hundred dollars by five o' clock, when I drove to the two nearby towns for the pick-ups. Each day I made my goal — sometimes it was spirit world at the last moment.
             Wanda was doing poorly one night, so I drove her around to few bars and she made another hundred. Roland, the brother who replaced Cliff, needed to break two hundred so I drove him to many bars till he finally made it at 2:30 a.m. We'd been doing small towns such as Lone Grove, Model, Tishomingo, Atoka and Antler.
             From May 7 to June 15 we had a 40-day condition, which culminated with a 7-day workshop in Colorado. My result was the third highest for the condition, probably because I concentrated on the mission and didn't write much in my journals. I was given one month to witness in San Francisco.
             Mr. Aoki visited us the day before the condition started and shared some providential things. He said that President Reagan had met the Pope on the first of May, which was the 30th Anniversary of our church. (On that day CARP met up with all the church members in the region and joined in a circle at the Holy Ground at Rock Lake. As I walked there I saw two white cranes standing tall.) The President was on his way to China, and the Pope was on his way to Korea, and it was actually May 2nd. Both of them had taken a bullet from an attempted assassin.
          I had interesting experiences in the small Oklahoma towns. At one small town bank I ended up behind the counter in the back room where they take care of the drive-thru customers. As the cars passed by the teller would hold up a foil print and would invite them to come in and take a look. I sold to all the tellers but to none of the customers. Another town had only a post office, a gas station, and a general store, where the proprietor bought some. He tried to convince the customers to buy, as well as the telephone man who was drilling a hole in the wall. All the towns had great people except for one, where I was almost arrested.
             Mother's Day wasn't so profitable for us, for we had ordered too many flowers. We worked almost three days straight, with only three hours sleep at night. At the end my clothes were filthy, I was exhausted, but felt good about our offering. Mr. Aoki told me that he wanted me to become a saint.
             For two weeks I worked with Roland under the leadership of John R. Brian thought it would be good for me to restore the 'object position,' since the last time Gaetan led the team I did not unite as well as I should have. We had been doing small Colorado ex mining towns, which were tourist traps, as well as ski resorts. It was good for us in the mountains. We were selling prints, and stopped selling flowers on the weekends.
             Our team had the celebrated the Day of All Things, May 31, 1984 with the Colorado church members, at the workshop site in Aspen Hollow. We had been staying at the Denver Church while we fundraised the area. We had a barbecue, went horseback riding, and then our team went the city to see a movie. 

             Beneath a blue California sky, on June 21, 1984 I sat at a picnic table in the shade of a willow tree beside a lake where brothers and sisters paddled by in canoes and wrote a letter.

June 21, 1984

Dear Yoshiko,

The last condition I was the top fundraiser, and I was also the highest for the 120-day condition, so I won an extra month of witnessing time on top of the five weeks I've saved up. So I will be here in California all summer.
             This afternoon I took a break from writing to rent a kayak to paddle around the lake. I went after everyone, splashing them all with the paddle. One brother jumped from a canoe unto my kayak and I went under, losing my glasses in the murky depths. As a result of losing my glasses I wasn't allowed to play volleyball because both captains thought my shortsightedness would cause their team to lose.
             Last Sunday we met with the main team and went to Salt Lake City. I drove all night listening to a tape of Father speaking, and just after dawn at the part about the creation being like a 'love museum' a rainbow straddled the road just beyond the horizon where we were heading. At Salt Lake City we visited Temple Square, the home of the Latter Day Saints. A young couple with a month old baby in a carriage gave us a tour. It was moving to hear the story of the early pioneers as we stood by a monument with the sea gulls. That evening we went to a screening of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
             I was in Denver and had a difficult time selling flowers one day. I had only $80.00 around dinnertime when my sub team leader was supposed to pick me up. (This was not the first time I'd been forgotten. Another time Andy and me were both left out all night and I slept in a musty old car behind a gas station.) Anyhow, John had fallen asleep and didn't come to pick me up until 1:30 a.m. I had run out of flowers by 11:30 and happened to see a National MFT flower team that was finishing up around midnight. They offered me a ride back to the center, but I asked for some flowers so that I could keep going. I ended up making my goal of $200.00 and when John finally woke up and came around to pick me up, I was sitting on a bench at a bus stop with an empty bucket.
             One time a lady said she was going to call the police on me, so I swung around to the outskirts of town and fundraised some more. By the time the police caught up to me, and told me to stop or he'd throw me in jail, I had done most of the town. I continued anyway and made my goal by the evening pick up.
             On Saturday, at Camp K, we gave our testimonies. Mine was basically that any of the members present could have had a better result than me, that mine was less than it should be. One key to our victory is our desire and motivation. (As I said that many of the members made note of the remark in their journals.)
             I never really wanted to join MFT but did so being grateful for the Blessing. I wanted to meet Heavenly Father but never did, until I read some passages in the Way of Tradition that explained exactly what I was experiencing. Then I spoke of the three days I persevered making exactly $200.00. Everyone laughed when I said that the police had tried to make me stop by threatening to throw me in jail, when I said that I didn't care what happened. ITPN Stefan

Roland, who worked on the sub-team with John and me gave an interesting testimony at Camp K: "I was really glad to hear that Stefan was the top fundraiser this time. When I saw Stefan, I was impressed by his example. He only takes five or ten minutes for lunch and keeps going. He's really focused. I learned a lot from him. I made a determination that I would beat Stefan. On the twenty-sixth day we were fundraising in Dallas. I wanted to have a desperate heart; to be a better person.
             "We were at the same intersection. Stefan's light is the blessing light; he's making all the money. Nothing's happening at my light, and I'm wondering 'Why do you Bless Stefan and not me?' It was the Arc Angel position, like Lucifer— I'm jealous; God put me in this position where I could see Stefan as my brother and not my competition. I should be happy that Stefan was making a lot of money.

             "At 10 o'clock we switched places, and I went to Stefan's light. I was standing beside my bucket when a Jeep flipped over as it sped through a red light. I thought the driver might have been killed. Then I thought I could be dead. It was a stolen car. The man got up and tried to run away. My resentment could have been a condition where Satan could have taken my life. But I overcame. After that miracles happened and God was able to Bless me so much...”

             In the evening after the testimonies I was invited to dinner in the prayer cabin with Dr. Seuk and Mr. Aoki. Dr. Seuk said that he usually had to inspire the members, but this time it was the members who inspired him. Mr. Aoki was happy about that point.

May 31, Aspen Hollow, Colorado

 For the last two weeks I have not been leading the sub-team, but have changed positions and John R is leading Roland and I. Brian felt that I didn’t unite with Gaetan well enough on the last sub-team; he wanted me to “restore the object position.”
            We have been doing small Colorado mining towns, which are now ski-resorts and tourist traps. It has been good for the sub-team in the mountains; my results have been good, but not spectacular. For the last of our 40-day condition, before completing our 120-day condition and meeting with CARP here in Colorado, we have been pushing really hard. We have been sleeping less this month, and we are just selling foil prints.

             We started our prayer vigil the other night; CARP members will do it four times a month; praying one hour each time, and skipping four meals.
 
It is now time to finish; it was a lovely day today, everyone had a good time. Please pray that God can guide me into higher realms of sacrifice and service. May God Bless you always. ITPL Stefan

October 26, 1983 — Yosemite National Park
 
Dear Yoshiko-san

             This letter is being written beside a calm river at Yosemite, California. It is peaceful and serene; except for the happy sounds of brothers and sisters laughing in the distance, playing football and enjoying the day. We are all gathered here, all CARP MFT, Northern California CARP, and the witnessing task force, for the first time since before the Blessing when we met at Colorado. Dr. Seuk, and the six new members who joined this summer are here; three of them I watched come to life during the month I was at Camp K.
             Yesterday we started the day viewing a video presentation of the KAL 007 demonstrations.Then I hiked 8 miles through the mountains between three of four waterfalls. Went at a brisk pace; stopping only a minute at each waterfall. My legs were shaking at the bottom. In the evening we gathered for testimonies.
             As it turned out I was called upon to testify, being one of the top fundraisers. The top three won a framed picture of Father and Mother, as I was third highest I received the prize, so I would like to give it to you as a Christmas gift. I testified that my goal was ‘tearful prayer,’ and the breakthroughs I experienced. How our team had difficulty with unity; how spirit world helped; how I fundraised difficult house-to-house areas by getting people to tell me which houses had kids. In Dallas I had made $100 on my first run, then went to a bar where a cowboy bought every puppet I had. I left with everyone squeaking the puppets, and returned later to sell some more.
 
             As I continue this letter the meetings have finished and we’re back on the road, with a few changes on the teams. This time I will be leading a sub-team of three (including me) doing West Texas, New Mexico and working our way to Los Angeles for a Christmas party. Actually we will start an intense condition, which will last for 50 days starting November 5th and ending December 24th. The last day we will be selling flowers in L.A. The top fundraisers will be able to fly to New York for God’s Day. If I lead a sub-team it will be hard to be a top seller, but in spite of this I will do my best. There is nothing I’d rather do than seeing True Parents with you in New York. ITPN Stefan

Note: "Alvin" is totally fictitious, a composite character based on two or three brothers.